I'm not a child sleep expert, I just play one on t.v.

I've been getting a few emails about naps and the complete randomness that seems to characterize the first 6 months of nap times. A few of these emails have been a little funny, the gist of which can be summarized as: "You're so lucky you're a child psychologist. It must have been so much easier dealing with your babies and the sleep issues that come up." SO not true. At least not in the first 6 months. See... I like predictability. I like knowing what will happen, or not happen, and when. That's what I love about developmental psychology: There are principles that govern how children change from one stage to the next and the vast majority of kids DO change in predictable ways from one age to the next. I knew that sleeping through the night was not going to be in my future for a while with my twin boys. But I kept hearing these words of wisdom: "You can always nap when THEY nap. Make sure to ALWAYS sleep when they sleep."  Hahahahahahahahaha!  Yeah, not so much. In the first 6 months, neither of my boys slept for more than 30 - 45 min at a time. I'd nurse one to sleepiness, swaddle, rock, bounce, sing, shush, put him down. Lather, rinse, repeat with the second boy. By then the first was up again. CERTAIN sleep gurus <cough> Weissbluth <cough> seemed to insist that I was damaging my kids' brains by "letting" them wake up after such short naps. My kids didn't read the right books. (In all honesty, I think there are some valuable insights in that book, but I do have some problems with it as well.) Suffice it to say that I was relieved when I learned that many babies don't consolidate their regular, extended nap schedules until around the age of 6 months.

For the sake of keeping it real, I thought I'd share this picture because it pretty much says it all. I was such an avid Karp follower (I still think he's great). I checked off my 5 Ss and hoped to high heaven for my babies to be the sleepiest babies on the block...

 

Comments

[Kelly]

You know, I always thought it would be somewhat romantic to have twins...until I had my singleton. I can't imagine checking off all the Ss twice. Kudos to you!

[Mary]

Mine is 10 1/2 months and still doesn't have a regular nap schedule despite my trying to instill one. I gave up because it was making both of us upset. Now I listen to his cues and when he's sleepy, he falls asleep in my arms and then I put him in his crib. And yes, I've tried putting him in his crib sleepy and all he does is pull himself up to a stand and wake himself all the way up. This too shall pass (I hope). I don't know what I would do with twins! You are blessed with a lot of patience.

[Erika]

I'm with Mary. My daughter is about 8-1/2 months and still not on a predictable nap schedule. I'm lucky that she's been an easy nighttime sleeper since early on so I always figured as long as she slept great at night, I wouldn't allow myself to worry about daytime naps. I put her down when I see an eye rub or yawn or when she just seems tired and that's been working. She was a 40-min napper for MONTHS and just in the past 6 weeks or so started doing longer naps regularly. It was probably right around 6-7 months that I started getting an occasional 1-2 hr nap. I still have days when she does 3 or 4 naps of less than 1 hour but they are getting more infrequent. More typical is 2 naps of 1-2 hrs and maybe a short 3rd nap in late afternoon. I kept waiting for the naps to organize into a schedule but nothing yet. Lucky I'm a SAHM so she naps when she feels like it and I let her dictate our daily schedule. I'm reluctant to try to force a schedule on her. With time I figure it will sort itself out...

[Isabela]

@Kelly: We all do what we have to do. I'm sure I would have been losing my mind with a singleton too...

@Mary and Erika: You guys are in the middle of the same developmental transition (8-11 months). NOT a time for ANYTHING to be regular. Don't get me wrong, my boys napped longer after 6 months, but it was still often in my arms or whoever's arms happened to be free at the time. Oh yeah... then there was the swing, the bouncy chair, the sling, the car seat. Gah. Hang in there! I'll post soon about some napping schedules that work for many babies. Doesn't mean you have to "force" them into it, but just knowing the pattern that many babies fall into sometimes helps to get a feel for what you're aiming for. Stay tuned!

[Christy]

A friend of mine gave me a book when I had my son (now 10 months) that I found to be extremely helpful with napping. I think it was called the NAPS Plan. I don't remember what NAPS stood for and Isabela may know more about it but the premise was that for about the first year of life babies have alertness cycles of 90 minutes. When they wake up their alertness increases for 45 minutes, peaks and goes down for 45 minutes until it bottoms out and repeats. The theory is if you put your kid down shortly before the bottom (an increment of 90 minutes after they wake) they will fall asleep. The length of awake time increases from 90 minute periods to 4.5 hour periods as they get closer to a year. Around one year they start transitioning toward fixed time naps based on the clock instead.

I had a lot of luck using this and it was *extremely* comforting to have some idea of when my son would go to sleep. Now, at 10 months he's always ready for his morning nap at 8:30 and he takes his afternoon nap 3 hours after waking up from the morning nap and the naps usually combine for 3-4 hours a day. It looks random if you're trying to base the schedule on clock time but if you look at the duration of sleep or awake time it looks more like a routine.

If nothing else seems to work it might be worth a try. Like I said, it worked for me but my son is really, really laid back and we've never really had sleep problems unless he was sick and even then they were mild.