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January 08, 2010


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I really like this post, especially the thinking around question #2. I know that I tend to be too easily embarrassed by the thought of the people watching me!

I'll throw something out there- some kids may need that snack more than others. My daughter's behavior spirals quickly into disaster if she is just a little bit too hungry. If I give her a graham cracker in time, I can avert a lot of tantrums. I'm sensitive to this because, guess what- I do the same thing. My husband has learned to recognize the signs of a coming hunger related meltdown and remind me to eat a snack, because once I'm in the throes, that never occurs to me. Really. So how can I expect my 2.5 year old to do better?

This is really interesting. I constantly ask myself what I'm trying to achieve in any given negotiation with my son (and believe, there are a lot of them). If it's no big deal I give in. I've really honed the old pick-your-battles strategy.

But if it's something important then things can really come to a head quickly; for example asking him to go to the toilet before we leave the house for a long bus trip.

Sometimes I've simply cancelled going out, but that hasn't seemed to stop the tantrums. I guess I'm not consistent there because I can't always cancel (like when I have to get to work).

I would love more suggestions on this whole who's-in-charge-anyway topic.

I told my husband of this post and he said, "Of course, #1: Know you're in charge comes from dog training and #2: Choose your battles" God, if it were only that simple. :)

Love it. Just love it. For lots of reasons. Not surprising it's similar to dog training, we are trying to train small "wild" creatures anyway. The simplification makes me LOL. Get right on that will ya.

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Hi, I'm Isabel

  • I'm a developmental psychologist and mom to two awesome 3-year-old boys. My area of expertise is social and emotional development and most of my research is on interventions that help make families and friendships healthier for children. More about me...


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